{"id":5920,"date":"2025-11-09T22:59:37","date_gmt":"2025-11-09T21:59:37","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.associazionelui.it\/?p=5920"},"modified":"2025-11-09T23:07:06","modified_gmt":"2025-11-09T22:07:06","slug":"the-experience-of-associazione-lui-an-italian-bip-faculty-giulia-de-gioia-gabriele-lessi-and-jacopo-piampiani-italy","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.associazionelui.it\/en\/the-experience-of-associazione-lui-an-italian-bip-faculty-giulia-de-gioia-gabriele-lessi-and-jacopo-piampiani-italy\/","title":{"rendered":"The experience of Associazione LUI: An Italian BIP &#8211; Faculty: Giulia De Gioia, Gabriele Lessi and Jacopo Piampiani: Italy"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>We present below the speech given by Associazione LUI at the <a href=\"https:\/\/www.biscmi.org\/2025-conference-materials\/#:~:text=Conference%20description%3A%20Join%20us%20for,be%20abusive%20to%20their%20partners.\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">29th BISC-MI 2025 Annual Conference \u2013 \u201cSpotlight on Solutions: From Intervention to Transformation\u201d<\/a>, held from November 4 to 6, 2025, where Associazione LUI was the first Italian organization invited to speak on the sensitive issue of men who use violence.<\/p>\n<p>In the spirit of intellectual honesty, what follows is partially a re-elaboration developed also with the help of <a href=\"https:\/\/chatgpt.com\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">ChatGPT<\/a>, but it fully reflects our views.<br \/>\nEnjoy your reading:<\/p>\n<p>[<a href=\"https:\/\/www.biscmi.org\/david-garvin\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">David Garvin<\/a>]:<br \/>\nI\u2019d like to invite our friends from Italy to the stage.<br \/>\nI\u2019ll let <a href=\"https:\/\/www.studiocon-te.it\/members\/jacopo-piampiani\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">Jacopo<\/a>, <a href=\"https:\/\/www.linkedin.com\/in\/gabriele-lessi-52a46661\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">Gabriele<\/a>, and Giulia introduce themselves. The slides will start from here.<\/p>\n<p>Giulia:<br \/>\nHello everyone.<br \/>\nI\u2019m truly very moved \u2014 not only because this is my first time speaking at a conference, but also because of everything I have received in this space, where we\u2019d like to contribute by sharing our experience.<\/p>\n<p>My name is Giulia, and here with me are my colleagues Gabriele and Jacopo.<br \/>\nWe come from Italy \u2014 specifically from Livorno, a small seaside city in Tuscany.<br \/>\nWe represent <a href=\"https:\/\/www.associazionelui.it\/it\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">Associazione LUI<\/a>, an organization that, along with other initiatives and services, also runs a <a href=\"https:\/\/www.associazionelui.it\/en\/attivita-associative-servizi\/groups-for-perpetrators-of-violent-behavior-center-for-perpetrators-of-domestic-sexual-and-gender-violence-c-u-a-v\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">CUAV<\/a>.<\/p>\n<p>As I mentioned, we wanted to contribute to this wonderful event by sharing our experience and explaining the program for men who use violence that we run.<\/p>\n<p>I will talk to you about the context in which all this happens \u2014 because, as we\u2019ve heard many times here, understanding and reading the context is essential for grasping the reasons behind choices.<\/p>\n<p>After me, Gabriele, who is a lawyer, will talk about the legal framework in Italy.<br \/>\nFinally, Jacopo will describe in more detail how our program \u2014 called P.U.M. CUAV \u2014 is concretely structured.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cP.U.M.\u201d is an acronym for Programma Uomini Maltrattanti (Program for Men Who Use Violence), but it\u2019s also the onomatopoeic sound \u201cPUM!\u201d, like in comic books when someone throws a punch.<\/p>\n<p>CUAV, on the other hand, is the official acronym we are required to use by law: Centro per uomini autori o potenziali autori di violenza domestica, sessuale e di genere \u2014 Center for Men Who Have Committed or Are at Risk of Committing Domestic, Sexual, or Gender-Based Violence.<\/p>\n<p>We are here to share, but also to learn.<br \/>\nI\u2019ve already learned so much from all of you.<br \/>\nThank you for your community spirit, your openness, and your inspiring experiences.<\/p>\n<p>I\u2019d also like to thank Valentina, Daria, Pino, Matteo, and Giorgio, who are back in Italy working while we are here with you.<\/p>\n<p>Now, let me tell you a bit about the Italian context.<\/p>\n<p>I am an interpreter and translator specialized in psychology and transactional analysis, and I am also a counselor in TA.<\/p>\n<p>After graduating, I was looking for a way to apply what I had studied, and I began collaborating with Casa della Donna in Pisa \u2014 an association that runs a women\u2019s anti-violence center offering phone counseling and a shelter for women survivors of violence.<\/p>\n<p>I worked there for about five years, listening to countless stories.<br \/>\nThere, I discovered the concept of a local anti-violence network, what in the U.S. is known as the CCR \u2013 Coordinated Community Response \u2014 and it completely changed the way I saw my city.<\/p>\n<p>I started exploring the various services, how they functioned, and tried to better understand the overall phenomenon of gender-based violence.<\/p>\n<p>As often happens, one opportunity led to another: around 2018 I took part, as an interpreter, in an Erasmus+ project with five other European countries, where I met Gabriele and Jacopo \u2014 who had already founded their association.<\/p>\n<p>I was struck by their enthusiasm, curiosity, and eagerness to learn.<br \/>\nSo I began working with them, and today I coordinate the team and co-facilitate both men\u2019s and women\u2019s groups.<\/p>\n<p>Now, a brief historical overview:<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li>1945: With the country destroyed by World War II, Italian women gained the right to vote, which they exercised the following year when the people were called to choose whether Italy should become a Republic or remain a monarchy.<\/li>\n<li>1948: Article 3 of the new Constitution established equality between the sexes.<\/li>\n<li>1968: The protest and feminist movements brought new awareness, paving the way for a decade of major social achievements, such as the legalization of divorce (1970) and abortion (1978).<\/li>\n<li>1981: The crime of honor was abolished \u2014 until then, a man who believed that a female relative (wife, daughter, mother, etc.) had \u201cdishonored\u201d him could receive a reduced sentence if he killed her.<\/li>\n<li>1996: Rape was finally recognized as a crime against the person (and not against public morality).<\/li>\n<li>2011: I want to highlight this year because it marks the signing of the Istanbul Convention, the first European treaty for the prevention and fight against gender-based violence.<\/li>\n<li>2019: The so-called Codice Rosso (\u201cRed Code\u201d) law was passed, strengthening measures against domestic violence.<\/li>\n<li>2022: For the first time, national standards for CUAVs were introduced.<br \/>\nA few figures (updated just a few weeks ago):<\/li>\n<li>In 2025, more than 70 women were killed in Italy \u2014 the vast majority in intimate contexts.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>Women represent 75% of victims of physical or psychological violence, and 91% of victims of sexual violence.<\/p>\n<p>Now, a lighter part: the story of our association.<br \/>\nEverything started with a friendship.<\/p>\n<p>Gabriele and Jacopo met through mutual friends and discovered they were asking themselves the same question:<br \/>\n\u201cWhat does it mean to be a man in today\u2019s Italian society?\u201d<br \/>\nWhat challenges, stereotypes, difficulties, opportunities, and privileges come with that?<\/p>\n<p>So they created their first men\u2019s self-awareness group, inspired by the feminist consciousness-raising groups of the 1970s.<br \/>\nThey were all volunteers, driven by a desire to understand and reflect on their role as men in society.<\/p>\n<p>That was the first structured activity of the Association, which today \u2014 about seventeen years later \u2014 organizes public events, training programs, men\u2019s awareness groups, fatherhood groups, as well as a listening helpline, and of course, the program for men who use violence (P.U.M. CUAV).<\/p>\n<p>On our website, we publish articles, film and book reviews, and podcast suggestions that deal with issues related to gender stereotypes, violence, and relationships.<br \/>\nWe often use them during the groups as discussion materials.<\/p>\n<p>The P.U.M. program is designed for men who have committed or are at risk of committing domestic, sexual, or gender-based violence.<br \/>\nGroups meet twice a week and work on topics such as:<\/p>\n<ol>\n<li>Awareness of one\u2019s actions;<\/li>\n<li>Personal responsibility;<\/li>\n<li>Deconstruction of gender stereotypes;<\/li>\n<li>Understanding of legal consequences.<\/li>\n<li>Each group is facilitated by two leaders with different backgrounds, experiences, and characteristics.<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>We strongly believe in a multidisciplinary and integrated approach \u2014 like a puzzle where each person brings their own piece: professional expertise, life experience, perspective, personality.<br \/>\nOnly by combining different viewpoints can we truly understand the problem.<\/p>\n<p>Now I\u2019ll hand it over to Gabriele, for the legal section.<\/p>\n<p>(Gabriele\u2019s speech \u2013 The legal and institutional framework in Italy)<br \/>\nGabriele:<br \/>\nThank you, Giulia.<br \/>\nAnd thank you all for being here \u2014 it\u2019s an honor for us to be able to share our experience in such an important space.<\/p>\n<p>As Giulia said, I am a lawyer, and I will try to give you a brief but comprehensive overview of how, in Italy, the system addressing men\u2019s violence against women has evolved \u2014 and how CUAVs, the centers for men who use violence, fit within that framework.<\/p>\n<p>Let\u2019s start from a simple observation:<br \/>\nItaly \u2014 like many other European countries \u2014 has a complex legal system that has gradually adapted to international standards, often under the impulse of European directives and international treaties, rather than through spontaneous national evolution.<\/p>\n<p>This means that many innovations have come from above, that is, through laws or European requirements, rather than from below, through local initiatives.<br \/>\nYet, there has always been a vibrant civil society movement \u2014 especially feminist organizations \u2014 that has strongly influenced both legislation and public awareness.<\/p>\n<p>The turning point was, as Giulia mentioned, the Council of Europe Convention on preventing and combating violence against women and domestic violence, known as the Istanbul Convention, signed in 2011 and ratified by Italy in 2013.<\/p>\n<p>That ratification forced Italy to structure a national strategy, based on four pillars, the so-called \u201c4 Ps\u201d:<\/p>\n<p>Prevention,<br \/>\nProtection,<br \/>\nProsecution, and<br \/>\nPolicies \u2014 that is, integrated and coordinated public policies.<br \/>\nFollowing that, Italy established its National Strategic Plans on Male Violence against Women, renewed every three years.<br \/>\nThe first covered the period 2017\u20132020, the second 2021\u20132023, and the third, currently in force, covers 2024\u20132027.<\/p>\n<p>Within these plans, CUAVs \u2014 that is, our type of program \u2014 were officially recognized as one of the tools of secondary and tertiary prevention.<br \/>\nThey are therefore not \u201ctherapeutic centers,\u201d nor services for mental health or couples\u2019 counseling, but public-interest programs aimed at social responsibility and the prevention of re-offending.<\/p>\n<p>However, a CUAV cannot exist in isolation: it must be part of a local anti-violence network, which includes at least:<\/p>\n<p>A women\u2019s anti-violence center,<br \/>\nThe police and judicial authorities,<br \/>\nSocial and health services,<br \/>\nThe local government,<br \/>\nAnd sometimes schools or community agencies.<br \/>\nIn this sense, the model is very close to what, in the U.S., is known as the CCR \u2013 Coordinated Community Response.<\/p>\n<p>The philosophy is the same:<\/p>\n<p>No single service can effectively address the problem of domestic or gender-based violence on its own.<br \/>\nIt requires shared language, coordination, constant communication, and above all, a common understanding of the problem.<\/p>\n<p>In Italy, CUAVs are required by law to meet a series of minimum standards, adopted at the national level in 2022.<br \/>\nThese standards specify, among other things:<\/p>\n<p>The professional requirements for facilitators;<br \/>\nThe structure of the programs (minimum 6 hours per month, for at least 12 months);<br \/>\nThe need for an initial assessment and a final evaluation;<br \/>\nThe obligation to collaborate with the local anti-violence network and prioritize the safety of the victim.<br \/>\nIn fact, according to the law, the woman\u2019s safety must always come before any goal related to the man\u2019s change.<\/p>\n<p>This principle is not negotiable.<br \/>\nIf a man in our program shows signs of escalation, or if new violent episodes are reported, our duty is to immediately inform the relevant authorities and the women\u2019s center, so that risk can be re-assessed.<\/p>\n<p>Now, regarding referrals:<br \/>\nMen can come to CUAVs in different ways.<\/p>\n<p>Some come voluntarily, after a personal crisis or separation.<br \/>\nOthers are sent by social services, often in connection with child custody proceedings.<br \/>\nAnd others are referred by the judicial system, as part of alternative or complementary measures to imprisonment.<br \/>\nOur program, the P.U.M. CUAV, works with all three types of access.<\/p>\n<p>We believe it is important to maintain voluntary access open, because it allows us to intercept situations before they reach the criminal stage \u2014 what we call primary prevention through early intervention.<\/p>\n<p>At the same time, the judicial referrals allow us to work with men who otherwise would not seek help on their own \u2014 and who often need to face more directly the legal and social consequences of their actions.<\/p>\n<p>Another interesting aspect is that CUAVs, by law, must operate in connection with the local women\u2019s anti-violence center.<br \/>\nIn our case, this is precisely <a href=\"https:\/\/www.casadelladonnapisa.it\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">Casa della Donna in Pisa<\/a>, the association where Giulia used to work.<\/p>\n<p>This collaboration is not always simple \u2014 there are different perspectives, languages, and sometimes tensions \u2014 but it is essential.<br \/>\nBecause without dialogue, coordination, and information sharing, the whole system becomes weaker.<\/p>\n<p>Let me give you an example:<br \/>\nWhen a man joins our program, we always contact the women\u2019s center to inform them that we have a new participant, and to verify whether his partner or ex-partner is known to them.<br \/>\nIf she is, we activate a safety protocol and maintain constant communication.<br \/>\nIf she isn\u2019t, the women\u2019s center still records the information, so that if she later seeks help, the center already knows he\u2019s in a program.<\/p>\n<p>This is how a local CCR works: by ensuring that no woman\u2019s safety depends solely on chance.<\/p>\n<p>Now, a few words about the \u201cRed Code\u201d law (Codice Rosso), adopted in 2019.<br \/>\nThis reform significantly shortened the time between a report of violence and the first hearing with the prosecutor \u2014 it must now take place within three days.<br \/>\nIt also introduced new crimes, such as:<\/p>\n<p>Revenge porn (unauthorized dissemination of sexually explicit material),<br \/>\nForced marriage,<br \/>\nViolation of restraining orders, and<br \/>\nDeformation of a person\u2019s appearance through permanent injuries (a crime that particularly targets acid attacks).<br \/>\nFinally, the latest innovation came in 2022, when CUAVs were officially included in the National Register of services accredited by the government \u2014 this means they can now access public funding and operate within a standardized framework.<\/p>\n<p>To conclude my part, I\u2019d like to stress one more thing:<br \/>\nItaly is still at the beginning of this journey.<br \/>\nCUAVs are growing rapidly, but there are still many regions without one, and the need for training, monitoring, and coordination remains very high.<\/p>\n<p>That\u2019s why opportunities like this conference are so valuable \u2014 they allow us to connect with experiences from countries like the United States, where programs for men who use violence have a much longer history and more robust scientific evaluation.<\/p>\n<p>We truly hope to learn from you, to build bridges, and to continue developing an approach that is both accountable and compassionate, grounded in responsibility and respect for victims.<\/p>\n<p>Thank you.<\/p>\n<p>(Jacopo\u2019s speech \u2013 Structure and philosophy of the P.U.M. CUAV program)<br \/>\nJacopo:<br \/>\nThank you, Gabriele.<br \/>\nAnd thank you all \u2014 it\u2019s really an honor to be here, and we\u2019re very grateful for the warm welcome we\u2019ve received.<\/p>\n<p>I will now tell you more concretely about how our program works \u2014 its structure, its objectives, and the way we try to engage men in a process of awareness and change.<\/p>\n<p>As Giulia and Gabriele have already explained, our program is called P.U.M. CUAV \u2014 Program for Men Who Use Violence.<br \/>\nIt is both an acronym and a symbolic word, because PUM! in Italian comics is the sound of a punch \u2014 and that helps us remember what we\u2019re dealing with: the real, physical, and symbolic impact of male violence.<\/p>\n<p>The first thing I want to emphasize is that our work is not therapy.<br \/>\nWe are not therapists, and our goal is not to \u201cfix\u201d men or make them feel better about themselves.<br \/>\nOur goal is accountability \u2014 to help them recognize and take responsibility for the harm they have caused, and to prevent them from repeating it.<\/p>\n<p>We often say:<\/p>\n<p>\u201cYou are not here because you are sick, but because you have hurt someone.\u201d<br \/>\nOf course, many men come with psychological suffering \u2014 anxiety, shame, guilt, depression \u2014 but those are consequences, not causes, of their violent behavior.<\/p>\n<p>Our approach is therefore psychoeducational and socio-relational, not clinical.<br \/>\nWe work through group dynamics, dialogue, and reflection.<\/p>\n<p>Now, let me describe how the program is structured.<\/p>\n<p>1. Intake and assessment<br \/>\nThe process starts when a man contacts us or is referred to us.<br \/>\nThe first step is an individual interview \u2014 or sometimes several \u2014 where we:<\/p>\n<p>Collect basic information about his situation,<br \/>\nUnderstand the context of the violence,<br \/>\nAssess his motivation,<br \/>\nAnd evaluate whether he is suitable for group work.<br \/>\nDuring this stage, we also sign a contract of participation, which includes very clear commitments:<\/p>\n<p>To attend regularly,<br \/>\nTo avoid any violent or threatening behavior during the program,<br \/>\nTo cooperate with social or judicial services,<br \/>\nAnd, most importantly, to accept that the priority is always the safety of the woman.<br \/>\nIf the man refuses this principle, he cannot enter the group.<\/p>\n<p>When possible, we also gather information from the referring service and, if appropriate, from the women\u2019s center, in order to build a more accurate risk assessment.<\/p>\n<p>2. Group sessions<br \/>\nOnce accepted, the man joins a closed group (not open entry), composed of a maximum of 10 participants, with two facilitators \u2014 usually one man and one woman.<br \/>\nWe meet twice a week, for two hours each time.<\/p>\n<p>Each cycle lasts 12 months minimum, and often continues longer, depending on the individual\u2019s path.<\/p>\n<p>We use various methods:<\/p>\n<p>Guided discussions,<br \/>\nRole-playing,<br \/>\nAnalysis of real situations,<br \/>\nReading short texts or watching short videos,<br \/>\nAnd individual self-reflection exercises.<br \/>\nThe group setting is fundamental.<br \/>\nIt\u2019s in the group that excuses, minimizations, and justifications are exposed and challenged \u2014 not in a punitive way, but by holding up a mirror.<\/p>\n<p>When a man says:<\/p>\n<p>\u201cYes, but I only slapped her once,\u201d<br \/>\nanother man may answer:<\/p>\n<p>\u201cThat\u2019s what I used to say too, until I realized it wasn\u2019t just once.\u201d<br \/>\nThis peer confrontation, when guided safely and respectfully, can be much more effective than any lecture.<\/p>\n<p>3. Core themes<br \/>\nThe topics we work on include:<\/p>\n<p>Responsibility and denial mechanisms;<br \/>\nThe cycle of violence and its escalation;<br \/>\nGender stereotypes and patriarchal culture;<br \/>\nEmotions and control \u2014 understanding anger, frustration, and jealousy;<br \/>\nCommunication and conflict management;<br \/>\nFatherhood and the impact of violence on children;<br \/>\nLegal consequences and social accountability.<br \/>\nWe dedicate particular attention to empathy \u2014 not as a soft skill, but as an ethical exercise: trying to understand how one\u2019s actions have affected another person\u2019s body, mind, and life.<\/p>\n<p>Sometimes we ask simple but powerful questions, like:<\/p>\n<p>\u201cWhat do you think your partner felt in that moment?\u201d<br \/>\n\u201cWhat would you say to her if she were sitting here now?\u201d<br \/>\nThe goal is not to seek forgiveness, but to face reality.<\/p>\n<p>4. Monitoring and evaluation<br \/>\nThroughout the process, we maintain contact with the referring services and the women\u2019s center.<br \/>\nWe periodically review each man\u2019s progress \u2014 in terms of attendance, participation, and observed behavioral change.<\/p>\n<p>At the end of the program, we conduct an exit interview and a final evaluation, which may include a written report to the referring authority.<\/p>\n<p>We also conduct follow-ups after six and twelve months, to assess stability over time.<\/p>\n<p>5. Collaboration and training<br \/>\nOur work doesn\u2019t end with the group.<br \/>\nWe regularly organize training sessions for professionals \u2014 social workers, teachers, police officers, health personnel \u2014 to promote awareness and build bridges between services.<\/p>\n<p>Because, as Gabriele said, violence is a systemic problem.<br \/>\nNo one can tackle it alone.<br \/>\nThe man who uses violence is not an isolated monster \u2014 he\u2019s a product of a culture that normalizes control, possession, and domination.<br \/>\nWorking with him also means working on that culture.<\/p>\n<p>That\u2019s why we collaborate with schools and universities, where we talk about emotional education and masculinities.<br \/>\nWe often quote a line we love:<\/p>\n<p>\u201cIf we want to stop violence against women, we must start talking to men \u2014 not to blame them, but to involve them.\u201d<br \/>\n6. Challenges and reflections<br \/>\nOf course, this work is not easy.<br \/>\nWe constantly face contradictions, doubts, and resistance.<br \/>\nSometimes we feel powerless, or frustrated.<br \/>\nSometimes we witness relapse.<\/p>\n<p>But we\u2019ve learned to value process over outcome.<br \/>\nEven when change seems small, it can be significant.<br \/>\nIf a man learns to stop before shouting, or if a woman tells us she feels a little safer, that\u2019s already a success.<\/p>\n<p>Another challenge is societal ambivalence:<br \/>\nOn one side, there is condemnation of violence; on the other, there is still strong tolerance toward sexist behavior and domination.<br \/>\nWe live in a society that says \u201cviolence is wrong,\u201d but still laughs at sexist jokes.<\/p>\n<p>So, part of our work is also cultural advocacy \u2014 trying to shift the narrative, to promote different models of masculinity:<br \/>\nmen who can be strong without being dominant, who can take responsibility without losing dignity.<\/p>\n<p>7. The role of facilitators<br \/>\nFinally, I want to say a word about the facilitators.<br \/>\nThey are the heart of the program.<br \/>\nOur teams are always mixed \u2014 a man and a woman \u2014 because we believe that co-facilitation itself models equality and mutual respect.<\/p>\n<p>Facilitators must constantly work on themselves: on their own emotions, their stereotypes, their triggers.<br \/>\nWe meet regularly for supervision and peer support, because this work can be emotionally demanding.<\/p>\n<p>The greatest satisfaction comes when we see small but genuine transformations \u2014 when a man begins to take responsibility, when he stops blaming others, when he starts naming his actions for what they are.<\/p>\n<p>As one participant once said:<\/p>\n<p>\u201cFor the first time, I realized that I\u2019m not a bad person \u2014 but I did bad things. And now I want to be someone who doesn\u2019t do them anymore.\u201d<br \/>\nThat\u2019s why we do this work.<br \/>\nTo help men become agents of change, not only for themselves, but for their families and communities.<\/p>\n<p>Thank you very much.<\/p>\n<p>[Moderator]:<br \/>\nThank you so much, that was incredibly informative and heartfelt.<br \/>\nWe now have a few minutes for questions from the audience.<\/p>\n<p>[Audience member #1]:<br \/>\nThank you for your presentation. I\u2019d like to know: in your experience, what are the main motivations that bring men to your program?<br \/>\nIs it mostly fear of legal consequences, or is there also a genuine desire to change?<\/p>\n<p>Jacopo:<br \/>\nThank you for the question \u2014 it\u2019s a very good one.<br \/>\nThe truth is, there\u2019s rarely a single reason.<br \/>\nMost men come because something has broken \u2014 a relationship, a family, or a court order that forces them to face what happened.<\/p>\n<p>Some arrive because they fear losing their children.<br \/>\nOthers because they\u2019ve been sent by a judge.<br \/>\nAnd a few come because they are sincerely tired of repeating the same patterns, of living in conflict and control.<\/p>\n<p>We don\u2019t require perfect motivation at the start \u2014 that would be unrealistic.<br \/>\nWhat we ask is a minimum of openness and availability to reflect.<br \/>\nSometimes change starts from a very small crack, and then grows over time.<\/p>\n<p>We also work a lot on the difference between feeling sorry for oneself and taking responsibility.<br \/>\nMany men come full of self-pity \u2014 \u201cI lost everything,\u201d \u201cShe ruined my life.\u201d<br \/>\nOur job is to help them shift focus:<\/p>\n<p>\u201cWhat have you done? What can you do now to make things different?\u201d<\/p>\n<p>[Audience member #2]:<br \/>\nI was struck by the collaboration between your program and the women\u2019s anti-violence center.<br \/>\nIn some countries, that cooperation can be very difficult.<br \/>\nHow did you build that relationship?<\/p>\n<p>Giulia:<br \/>\nThat\u2019s a great question \u2014 and yes, it was not easy!<br \/>\nWhen we started, there was a lot of distrust, and rightly so.<br \/>\nThe feminist movement in Italy has fought for decades to have women\u2019s experiences of violence recognized and taken seriously, and many activists saw programs for men as potentially dangerous \u2014 as if they could shift focus away from the victims.<\/p>\n<p>We understood that fear, and we never tried to deny it.<br \/>\nInstead, we approached with humility, by listening and building small steps of cooperation.<\/p>\n<p>For example, we invited women from the Casa della Donna to come and observe our groups, and we went to observe their work at the center.<br \/>\nWe also started to exchange anonymous information \u2014 about risk, about safety \u2014 always with the woman\u2019s consent and in her best interest.<\/p>\n<p>Little by little, trust grew.<br \/>\nNow we meet regularly, we plan joint training sessions, and we share a common language.<br \/>\nWe know we are on the same side \u2014 not working for men, but working for women\u2019s safety through men\u2019s responsibility.<\/p>\n<p>[Audience member #3]:<br \/>\nI\u2019d like to ask Gabriele \u2014 since you\u2019re a lawyer \u2014 what kind of coordination exists between CUAVs and the justice system?<br \/>\nDo judges and prosecutors actually trust your programs?<\/p>\n<p>Gabriele:<br \/>\nThat\u2019s an excellent and very practical question.<br \/>\nThe answer is: it depends!<\/p>\n<p>In some regions of Italy, the collaboration is already well established.<br \/>\nCourts refer men directly to accredited CUAVs, and the programs send periodic progress reports back to the judge.<\/p>\n<p>In other areas, the judicial world still doesn\u2019t know these programs very well \u2014 so part of our work is also institutional education.<br \/>\nWe hold meetings with prosecutors, family judges, and probation officers to explain what we do, what we don\u2019t do, and how we evaluate progress.<\/p>\n<p>The key point is that a CUAV is not a \u201csoft option\u201d or an alternative punishment.<br \/>\nIt\u2019s a structured, demanding process that requires time, effort, and accountability.<br \/>\nThe goal is not leniency, but prevention and social responsibility.<\/p>\n<p>We always insist that participation in the program does not replace judicial consequences \u2014 it\u2019s a complement, not a substitute.<\/p>\n<p>And when judges see serious, transparent work \u2014 supported by clear documentation and collaboration with women\u2019s centers \u2014 trust begins to grow.<\/p>\n<p>[Audience member #4]:<br \/>\nHave you ever involved the children of the men who attend your program?<\/p>\n<p>Jacopo:<br \/>\nThat\u2019s a delicate question, and the answer is yes \u2014 but indirectly.<br \/>\nWe don\u2019t work directly with children; we are not a family service.<br \/>\nBut we talk about children constantly in our groups.<\/p>\n<p>Many men initially say, \u201cI never hurt my children.\u201d<br \/>\nThen, through reflection, they begin to realize:<\/p>\n<p>\u201cYes, maybe they never saw me hit their mother, but they heard the shouting, they saw her crying, they lived in fear.\u201d<br \/>\nThat awareness can be very powerful.<br \/>\nSometimes it\u2019s the first moment when a man truly understands the impact of his actions.<\/p>\n<p>We also collaborate with local social services and child protection agencies \u2014 when a man has children, we always make sure those services are informed and involved.<\/p>\n<p>[Audience member #5]:<br \/>\nHow do you deal with men who deny the violence entirely, or who drop out early?<\/p>\n<p>Giulia:<br \/>\nThat\u2019s one of our biggest challenges.<br \/>\nSome men come just to \u201ccheck a box\u201d \u2014 to show the court that they\u2019re doing something.<br \/>\nOthers leave after a few sessions, saying, \u201cThis isn\u2019t for me.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>We\u2019ve learned that we cannot force awareness \u2014 but we can plant seeds.<br \/>\nEven if a man only attends a few meetings, something might stay with him: a question, a phrase, a moment of reflection.<\/p>\n<p>We also try to contact him afterwards, to understand the reason for the interruption.<br \/>\nSometimes he comes back later.<\/p>\n<p>And if he\u2019s in a judicial process, we always inform the referring authority of his withdrawal.<br \/>\nTransparency is essential.<\/p>\n<p>[Moderator]:<br \/>\nWe have time for one last question.<\/p>\n<p>[Audience member #6]:<br \/>\nIf you could change one thing in Italy to make your work easier or more effective, what would it be?<\/p>\n<p>Gabriele:<br \/>\nOnly one? (laughs)<br \/>\nI would say: stable, long-term funding.<br \/>\nRight now, many programs like ours survive through short-term grants or local projects.<br \/>\nWe need national investment to ensure continuity, evaluation, and training.<\/p>\n<p>Giulia:<br \/>\nFor me, it would be education \u2014 starting in schools.<br \/>\nViolence doesn\u2019t begin with a slap; it begins with stereotypes, with boys who learn that emotions are weakness and girls who learn to please others.<br \/>\nWe need to start there.<\/p>\n<p>Jacopo:<br \/>\nAnd for me, it would be collaboration without fear \u2014 between institutions, services, and movements.<br \/>\nSometimes, in Italy, we still work too much in isolation, as if each group had to defend its own territory.<br \/>\nBut violence is a collective problem; it requires collective answers.<\/p>\n<p>[Moderator]:<br \/>\nBeautifully said.<br \/>\nThank you, Giulia, Gabriele, and Jacopo, for sharing your story, your work, and your courage.<br \/>\nIt\u2019s inspiring to see such commitment and humanity.<\/p>\n<p>Giulia:<br \/>\nThank you \u2014 really.<br \/>\nWe are deeply honored to have been part of this conference.<br \/>\nWe\u2019ll go back to Italy full of ideas, gratitude, and renewed energy.<\/p>\n<p>Jacopo:<br \/>\nAnd with many new friends.<br \/>\nIf any of you ever come to Tuscany, you\u2019re warmly invited to visit us \u2014 we\u2019ll welcome you with good coffee, good food, and a long conversation about men, change, and responsibility.<\/p>\n<p>Gabriele:<br \/>\nThank you again to the organizers, and to all of you for listening and for the important work you do every day.<\/p>\n<p>[Applause]<\/p>\n<p>Closing Reflection<br \/>\nThe presentation by Associazione LUI concluded with a strong message that resonated throughout the BISC-MI Conference:<\/p>\n<p>Working with men who use violence is not about justifying them \u2014 it\u2019s about preventing future violence, protecting women, and transforming culture.<br \/>\nTheir approach \u2014 combining legal rigor, psychological insight, and community collaboration \u2014 offered a valuable European perspective on coordinated responses to domestic violence.<\/p>\n<p>As one participant said at the end:<\/p>\n<p>\u201cTheir story reminds us that accountability and compassion can, and must, coexist.\u201d<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>We present below the speech given by Associazione LUI at the 29th BISC-MI 2025 Annual Conference \u2013 \u201cSpotlight on Solutions: From Intervention to Transformation\u201d, held from November 4 to 6, 2025, where Associazione LUI was the first Italian organization invited to speak on the sensitive issue of men who use violence. In the spirit of &hellip;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":5918,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[52],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-5920","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"acf":[],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v28.7 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/product\/yoast-seo-wordpress\/ -->\n<title>The experience of Associazione LUI: An Italian BIP - Faculty: Giulia De Gioia, Gabriele Lessi and Jacopo Piampiani: Italy - Associazione LUI<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.associazionelui.it\/en\/the-experience-of-associazione-lui-an-italian-bip-faculty-giulia-de-gioia-gabriele-lessi-and-jacopo-piampiani-italy\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"The experience of Associazione LUI: An Italian BIP - Faculty: Giulia De Gioia, Gabriele Lessi and Jacopo Piampiani: Italy - Associazione LUI\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"We present below the speech given by Associazione LUI at the 29th BISC-MI 2025 Annual Conference \u2013 \u201cSpotlight on Solutions: From Intervention to Transformation\u201d, held from November 4 to 6, 2025, where Associazione LUI was the first Italian organization invited to speak on the sensitive issue of men who use violence. 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